Do your fears make you feel alone? Do you think you (or your loved one) is the only needle phobe out there...that you must be as crazy as everyone says you are? Well, be prepared to change your mind after you hear from fellow sufferers who struggle everyday with this fear. And be inspired by the stories of those who have conquered this much misunderstood fear.
Here are the stories of just a few of the over 1 thousand people who have written to this web site...ordinary people who just like you, suffer from needle, blood or injury phobias.
When you consider that those who have written to this web site represent only the tiniest fraction of 1% in the US alone who are afflicted with this condition you should begin to feel not quite so alone after all.
Jan 2008: Yes, even health care professionals have Needle Phobia! I hear from needle phobic doctors, medical students, nurses, vets, and just about every profession in the health care industry - almost on a daily basis. Here's the story of a medical student from the UK who has conquered his fear!
Keith,
I thought I'd just let you know (because I'm so excited I'm telling everybody), that I feel that I have just got to the stage that I have conquered my needle phobia enough to be a competent doctor!!
This year we have started clinical years, so we are in the hospitals full time now. We get to practice taking bloods in all sorts of ways, and inserting venflons [in the US known as angiocath, a plastic IV cannula - ed]. Not having come from a medic family, and remembering being exposed to gruesome films that I was far too young for (Blade Runner I think, one with about 5 minutes of blood letting torture of the hero, while he was strung up Jesus style I seem to remember)*, I have always been highly needle phobic. It is of the vaso-vagal sort - extremely passive - not avoiding the situation at all, seeing as I am highly motivated to desensitize myself. My blood pressure is also slightly low - 110/70 instead of 120/80, which is probably a large component of the 'inherited genetic factor', as it runs in my family. My family have no problems with injections though, so the film exposure, and certain personality types, probably have a lot to do with it too**.
Anyway, I was determined to not let my needle phobia put me off medicine. And I would urge others to do the same. Luckily I get long classic pro-dromal symptoms and am easily able to get out the way so no patients are affected/notice the white-faced medical student. Many students are affected with this problem, and its not restricted to needles, but fear-inducing/invasive/emotionally charged physiological horror-inducing procedures. You just have to get used to them. A tip that may work for any needle phobe, is to have 4 glasses of water 10 minutes before getting the injection (prevent a blood pressure dip), and eating a hearty breakfast type meal before hand - porridge (possibly with some salt sprinkled on top) or a bacon sandwich. And go in feeling confident and happy, breezy, not focusing on the possibility that you may faint.
The symptoms I used to have were fainting walking back to class after a tiny sub cutaneous (under the skin) hepatitis B booster jab, not being able to give a full vial of blood because i was sweaty, even though lying down and still more or less fully alert (it was slow too- maybe phobics are more dehydrated people than others so have longer and therefore worse blood test experiences?). And in medical school up to now, I have had to lie down to stop fainting several times:
*when listening to the teacher talking about the way varicose veins are ripped out the legs in the operation
*when being told the theory of how to take blood
*when seeing it done on people - students and patients NOT on plastic models
*when seeing surgery done in what seems to my untrained eye, not very scientific/ in a haphazard way - leisurely hacking away at stringy skin and flesh to clean up the edges of a wound to the side of the hand, below the thumb
*any talk or visual images of wrists and slitting them.
*watching how a drip set works - when it wasn't even attached to a patient-but I hadn't drunk anything with lunch and we were standing up.
*and 2 weeks ago and before - I couldn't be in the room watching a doctor take blood.
Then the next time I could if I didn't watch too much and sat down. Then the next I could sitting, then standing. A phobia means you know the procedure well, the anatomy of the veins well and can visualise where it is under the skin, so I like to think my blood takings are slicker and don't hurt as much. I have now done it on 2 people who I didn't even need to mention to that they were only my 2nd and 3rd. I find it much easier to take the blood than watch someone else do it - its not passive or purely visual, which is the trigger, but active and keeps your mind busy - like counting backwards in 7s from 100 to distract your mind - that tip worked for a while too.
By the way, desensitization does not last long. When I go back to the wards on Monday, I will have to psyche myself up again and make sure I'm properly hydrated etc to prevent feeling faint again when watching. There are youtube videos people can watch of the procedure that can desensitize them more or less - they didn't work completely for me. Watching a short one then working your way up to longer ones is the way to do it.
So, thank you for listening and maybe you found it interesting to get an understanding of my phobia and management of it. It would be interesting to know what you think. I would also be interested in doing research on this area as mentioned before.
Kind regards,
- anonymous medical student
Oct 2007:
Hi Keith
You asked for some shared experiences, so here's mine. Sorry it's so long, but I'm hoping the process will be cathartic.
I had come across your page as well as Jerry Emanuelson's some years back. At the time I was unable to read through either page, as this in itself would trigger anxiety in me. Even writing this e-mail, while difficult for me now, would have been impossible a few years ago. As it is, I have to take frequent breaks. Since then, a lot has happened, as will become apparent, and I got through most of it by constantly reminding myself how lucky I am, and how good I have it compared to many other people. That and enormous support from my wife and my healthcare providers.
While your four categorisations of various needle phobics is interesting, I believe that I exhibit all of those characteristics to a greater or lesser degree. Primarily, however, I would fall under the vaso-vagal category. My younger sister is far worse than me, and suffers alarming convulsions, bradycardia and hypotension. My father also appears to be a sufferer, but he has always attempted to hide this from us. Now in my late forties, I only recently pieced together a story of extreme bravery and love on his part. When we were young and living in a small town, he often wore a blood donor pin in his jacket. I knew that going to donate blood was never easy for him, but whenever there was a call for blood, off he would go. He believed that if ever any of his children needed blood, he would have donated, and we would never have difficulty in obtaining matching blood. It turns out that he would arrive, be placed on the bed, and would pass out as soon as they inserted the needle!
Hypotension would result in his never actually successfully donating blood, so they would wait for him to recover, and then somebody would take him home without telling him that he hadn't actually donated. Eventually they managed to persuade him that they had enough A+, and he didn't need to come in, but I can only marvel at his determination and bravery in tilting at his personal windmill.
My mother, brother and elder sister have never suffered from this problem. My mother and her side of the family are almost all doctors, and many casual family conversations would result in us tryptanophobes promptly leaving the room! I am immensely relieved that my two lovely daughters do not suffer from this problem.
The earliest reaction I can recall was when I was in my first year of school at age 5, and is not even needle-related. A nearby child picked at a scab and opened a gusher. I regained consciousness on the floor, drenched in sweat and urine. Fortunately my bladder control has improved since then, but the experience was obviously extremely humiliating, as was the second similar incident (also at school) on my seventh birthday. It's possible I have some repressed memories of early surgical procedures when I was little - I had my adenoids out at a very young age, and I have no memory of this. I had two other minor urological procedures which I can recall nothing about, since I was a toddler at the time. My first memory of a surgical procedure was in my second year of school, at age 6, when I had my tonsils out. I was anaesthetised with gas, and to the best of my knowledge, I had no experience with needles on that occasion.
I was given all my shots, and did my unsuccessful best to avoid them all, had a blood test in the army (compulsory military training in South Africa), by having a whole bunch of people sitting on me while they drew the sample. Unfortunately they lost the result, with the consequence that the whole procedure had to be repeated... sigh. Most medical assistance during these early episodes consisted of shouting and asinine advice like, "face up to your fears" and "be a man".
I have tried several different psychologists and several different types of treatment (each time with the goal of being able to donate blood), but to no avail. Most psychologists wanted to try "desensitisation", which I put right up there with drilling holes in ones head to release "evil vapours". Mine is essentially a binary condition. Something terrifies me, or it doesn't. There are no "degrees" of fear involved at all.
I had a blood test for insurance purposes when I was married with children, but it was a sweaty, very unpleasant and almost unsuccessful affair. The vaso-vagal symptoms, besides being unpleasant, made it extremely difficult for the doctor to draw any blood. The disappearing veins and sweaty skin even make the puncture almost impossible. Fortunately my doctor personally took the tiny sample she'd managed to get to the lab herself and implored their head technician to do the requisite tests on it.
However, for the most part, I have avoided medical care as much as possible. My doctor has always been supportive and tried her best to provide care without the involvement of needles.
Ironically, I head up the IT department in a medical insurance firm. In mid 2003, one of our medical advisors took me aside and declared that I was far too pale, and asked to do an HB test. I promptly got in my car and drove home. Eventually I went to see my doctor, who agreed that I was indeed anaemic-looking, and pumped me full of valium (which had little effect), lay me down on the bed, and drew some blood. Turns out I had an HB of 7.4, which apparently means I failed my blood test.
I was referred to a gastroenterologist, who, while bemused at my phobic reaction, was very sympathetic, and partnered with the most fantastic anaesthetist to give me my first colonoscopy and gastroscopy. He used gas to knock me out briefly before administering Dormicum IV. The anaesthetist's brother-in-law is apparently a phellow phobic, so he was well aware of the condition, and in the period which followed, he was an extremely effective advocate for me with the other medical practitioners I was to come into contact with. That's really above and beyond! I was diagnosed with colon cancer, and had to have surgery and adjuvant chemotherapy. But first, I urgently needed a blood transfusion. The anaesthetist had set up a saline drip while I was out, and covered it so that I could not see it when I regained consciousness. My transfusion was plugged into this. He also knew that I would be sensitive to where the needle was inserted, and we settled on the upper forearm. This is important to me, as I don't even like being touched in my inner elbow or wrist. (I am so grateful to the eight altruistic people who donated the blood that helped me through this and my post-surgery transfusion. I just wish I could reciprocate). The following day, after more scans and X-Rays, I needed another blood test for baseline tumour markers. By now the surgeon had also been given his crash course by the anaesthetist, and he administered Dormicum to my drip before removing that and drawing the sample.
I duly had the surgery, and I was given my new friend Dormicum (in a really bitter crushed tablet under my tongue) as a pre-med, so that I was unaware of my central line and other tubes being installed. I was kept sedated for the first day after surgery, as I had to be ventilated, but I woke up inside one of my worst nightmares in surgical ICU plugged into all manner of devices. I found this very difficult to cope with, despite being mostly high on opiates, but the care was very good and sympathetic. Besides, there were other patients with far worse problems than me. On a side note, the morphine gave me the most horrific phobic hallucinations.
Recovery was slow, and I found sleeping very difficult, so that by the time I had been in the general ward for about 5 days, I was suffering from sleep deprivation, as well as the stress of the vicarious aspect of my phobia when fellow patients were subjected to needles. Still, there were other patients who were worse off than me. I was going to be okay. My cancer was stage IIb, and the surgeon was optimistic he'd removed it all, along with half my innards. Eventually I was referred to a psychiatrist, who had me transferred to a private ward, and gave me a drug the name of which to this day I can't remember. But it was like a switch being thrown. It was some form of anti-anxiotic, but was far better than the Aterax I'd been given up until then.
The psychiatrist was reluctant to try to "cure" my phobia, but instead took the approach of trying to teach me to cope with the anticipation of tryptophobic experiences by dealing with the symptoms at the time of the procedure. His logic was that if I knew the procedure would go well, he could teach me to relax so that I wouldn't spend sleepless nights worrying about it. He taught me to meditate scientifically (I guess this is what people believe is "self-hypnosis"), and to use breathing techniques.
Suffice is to say that since then, I have had chemo, countless blood tests, CT scans (turns out I'm extremely allergic to radio contrast dye), a nuclear scan and regular colonoscopies. I am still terrified of needles, but since regular oncology visits are going to be a lifelong requirement now, I prepare for them knowing that my health providers are conscious of my problem, and with the enormous assistance of my wife, large doses of Atavan (Lorazepam), and EMLA cream. I always go to a specific pathology laboratory in the evening for my regular blood tests where they all know me by name, and they know how to deal with me. I lie on a bed, facing the wall with my arm behind my back. They only draw blood from my EMLA-coated hand, while I practice my relaxation and breathing techniques as best I can. I'm getting better at it. Then they leave me alone to recover at my own pace and spirit away the equipment and sample so that I don't get to see anything. Then my wife takes me home and tucks me in bed to sleep off the Atavan. If my oncology visit requires a colonoscopy, I get my friend the anaesthetist to do the blood test while I'm under sedation.
What specifically about these procedures triggers my phobias? I still have no idea. What makes it better? Mostly being absent when it happens. Full anaesthesia works best, but I can cope with the help of Atavan and EMLA.
A side effect of my experiences is that while I still can't face needle procedures without my preparation ritual, I no longer suffer from the anticipatory fear of vaso-vagal attacks. This means that while I still can't watch, say, a needle being stuck into someone on TV, I can now watch things like Scrubs or the BBC's Green Wing without worrying that I *may* see something which will trigger an attack. Even more interesting is that I have found that I can use my body's memory of the symptoms to artificially induce (at will) a certain degree of lowered blood pressure and heart rate. I exercise every weekday morning in the gym at work, and with my heart rate monitor I can demonstrate a remarkable degree of heart rate control. I hasten to add that this is not something I do very often, but I have found this to be a fascinating ability.
So while my big adventure is not something I'd wish on anybody, least of all another phobe, I do believe that I have come out of it stronger, and with far better insight. I have been in complete remission for four years now, so my chances are looking very good for a cure. I am looking forward to my five-year milestone. It has been liberating to learn that I can ask for help, rather than feeling inadequate and intimidated each time I am faced with a needle.
Thanks for what you're trying to do with your advocacy website.
Feb 2003: David Perry uses an unusual form of distraction to conquer his fear - singing! Mr. Lamb, let me first say that it is a wonderful thing to come across a page such as yours that is so sympathetic to people with needle phobia. I, too, have encountered nurses that mumble "Go get me some restraints, will you?" to assistants.
I believe that my phobia started when I was two weeks old. The doctors thought I might have a deadly infant disease, but the blood work wouldn't come back for 48 hours: Too late if I did have the disease, so they began treatment right away. Treatment was a shot of some kind every two hours for 48 hours. My mother tells me that after the third of these shots, I began screaming the moment a nurse entered the room. One can only assume that they had to restrain me for the other 21 shots.
So here I am, 17 years later, with a newfound sense of peace. I needed extensive dental work done, which would require a few shots of novocaine in the gums. Novocaine, as you probably know, is awfully painful, and just the concept of getting a needle full of the stuff in the mouth terrified me. I tried to go through with it a couple of times, but I was crying and screaming before the needle was taken out of its container. The only other option (for my teeth were ...bad) was general anasthesia by IV. The IV also terrified me, but I figured I would only be conscious for a few seconds after it was in, so tally ho!
Yesterday, I had the IV put in, it slipped out, and another was put in successfully, and I came through it. How? This is where I would very much like to contribute to your archive of treatments.
The doctor and the nurse were very patient with me. The doctor let me take and hold the needle he would use. He let me turn it over in my hands, see it, and he told me exactly how much of it would go into the skin. The nurse actually suggested that I watch as the doctor put an IV into her, and then take it out. They were wonderfully patient and sympathetic, and I could not have hoped for more from people who deal with needles on a daily basis.
We also tried diazepam and nitrous oxide in that same session, but the moment I saw the needle, it was like a sugar pill and plain air. The NO mask actually felt more like a restraint than anything else, and I had it taken off. They were completely useless for dealing with my fear.
What finally clinched it for me, though, was that my mother was there with me, holding my other hand. More than that, we sang. I, of course, was barely able to get the words out through the tears, but that, more than anything else, worked. SINGING WORKED. I believe it served as a deliberate and effective distraction. I concentrated on the lyrics and tune as I sang, and the lyrics themselves also held weight.
They say that music soothes the savage beast. Well, it might not've soothed, but it made the passing bearable. And it really helped having a loved one there with me. After about 10 seconds, I noticed that it hurt a little less, and I looked down at my hand, and I saw the catheter in the vein, and the whole thing taped to my hand. I was so relieved, I laughed as I sobbed. Then the hard drugs hit my bloodstream, and I oozed into nothingness.
I know, I know. It's probably one of the strangest strategies you have heard of, but I know that it worked for me. Singing with a loved one. It may strike you as odd, but I write to you today with the firm belief that if it helped me, it will probably help at least one other person. And if I can help at least one other person get through something similar, my own happiness at getting through it will be greatly magnified.
Thank you, and good luck to you and all who may read this.
- Dave Perry
Nov 2001: Candice used the Needle-Buster iontophoretic topical anesthesia system and reported this success story:
Guess what? I got the solution from the pharmacy today and I tried it today in my home. I got out the needle and very slowly put it into my skin; and Keith, I did not feel a thing. I honestly didn't think it would work so well. I am so proud of my self. When my husband came home I HAD to show him and he could not believe it. It was really amazing. I want to thank you so very very much from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for all you have done in helping me if it wasn't for your web site I would still be sitting here scared to death to go into the hospital.
Thank you Sincerely,
Candice M. Cunningham
From fellow needle phobes:
"I am a confirmed needle-phobic. I was reading the interesting information on your page and was wondering if you have "overcome" your fear of needles. I also am more anxious about the pain associated with an injection/blood draw than the needle itself. I am proud to say that I've lived my 24 years without one blood draw from my arm. I start medical school in one week and needless to say, I need to deal with this phobia. "
"Your picture of the needle on your web page is discomforting."
[EDITOR: I get the hint - the picture has now been removed].
"Hi. Love your web page. I am a mother of 3 all being under the age of 5. I guess I am partial needle phobic. I'm not afraid of IV's or blood draws. I am terribly afraid of immunizations. I'm sure it's because of my fear as a child. I have bad dreams over the years of getting shots. My fear now is my children. I hate it when they get shots. I just purchased the Numby Stuff from Iomed and haven't used it yet. Do you know how effective it will be? Any info will help me."
"I tried therapy where I was 'introduced' to needles in an attempt to 'insensitise' me when I was 13 (I am aged 19 now) but it was ridiculous as the psychologist did not understand the fear I had and was very patronising. After seven months she gave up on me. Well, thankyou very much for giving me the opportunity to get some of this off my mind, I rarely ever talk of this. Perhaps one day I will be able to have some form of injection like you have been able to. Thankyou again. "
"Thanks for having your web page and for the info. I am 46 years old and have been the most needle-phobic person I have ever known. I am a family therapist and have worked with people with phobias and anxiety disorders (which is hard for me), but I have never found anyone as phobic as I am."
"I found your needle phobia page very interesting. I am a phlebotomist so I am on the other end of the needle. I must hear the phrase "I hate needles at least 3 or 4 times a day. I always try to be reassuring and gentle. I never lie and say it won't hurt, especially to chidren."
"I am amazed to have found this site! My husband is a needle phobic but he takes it one step further, if he sees me or our kids get a needle or any medical procedure - he faints, feels sick,etc. Have you ever heard of this before? He and I have been trying to figure this out for 20 years. In fact - he once had to be resuscitated after the oral surgeon came at him with a needle. I know this is extreme but we are anxious to find others with this problem and get advice as he is 44 and avoids preventative medicine like the plage."
"I would like to thankyou for having a website that deals with this matter ...and the statement "your not alone" was really comforting....I hope you are well...and if ever you would like a fresh person in this matter that you think may benefit from my recent experience ...please do not hesitate to give them my e mail address... it is stephenbeaumont@tesco.net ..I really feel for these people and feel I would like to help in any way.......It is awful."
"Thanks so much for sharing your feelings, opinions and knowledge! It is very hard to even have this phobia taken seriously! I just needed some surgery and found it near impossible to make the Drs., nurses, etc. understand that ALL my anxiety was due to the IV, NOT the impending surgery. I ended up using the topical cream, along with Xanax, which did squat -- it hurt like hell. So I just spoke to a friend who is a fellow needle phobe and she said that she has had the lidocaine shot, and although it IS a needle, the pain of that shot is far less than the pain of the IV needle. So if your fear is more about the pain than the needle, do you have any thoughts on that? (I certainly found the IV to be far, far more painful than any shot OR blood test I've ever had.)"
"I was really glad I discovered your web site. I am a needlephobe, and it was nice to know that there were other people like me. I am only 14 years old, but am deathly afraid of needles. Luckily, however, I discovered EMLA cream which works for me, but sometimes, it still bothers me to get shots. This website really comforted me because I thought I was one of the only people that was scared of needles. I remember about a year ago, I got a tetanus shot (with out EMLA on) and I was so scared, that I frightened the nurse and she almost fainted. It's weird being so big, and having all the doctors and nurses expect you to tolerate needles. Thanks for your web site, it's book marked!"
"I am a college student and am writing a paper on needle-phobia. Your website has been very helpful. I am also TERRIFIED of needles. I recently went under general anesthesia for some lab work. It was the best medical experience I ever had. I have yet to determine whether my insurance is going to cover it." ->
"I am hoping...after reading your web page...that you can offer me some words of ANYTHING on being terrified of needles. I have to have an IV next Saturday morning. I am getting my wisdom teeth taken out. I have went to 2 appointments already but chickened out. It seems the pills they give me to calm me down don't work. Laughing gas works but only till the needle comes close to my skin, then I freak out. Have you come across any other web pages on needle phobia? Have any advice for me? Its nice to know I am not alone."
"I have just seen your web-page on Needle Phobia and am heartened by the fact that there is someone else out there. I will look into the products you recommend. So far I have only used nitrous-oxide (twice) for dental and surgery. Have also tried valium, etc, with ever increasing dosages, but to no avail. The greatest problem I have is convincing Doctors that it really exists, which usually takes 3 or 4 visits. When I finally say, "To me this is fight or flight and I will happily kill you before you stick that into me.", it seems to work, also helps being over 6'7". I have tried to get a med-alert braclet in case of a car accident, but again, no luck. Thank you for your web-page, just knowing I am not the only one is a great relief."
You too can help others feel not so alone...share your story! If you or a loved one suffers from intractible fear of needles or doctors/dentists, please let us hear from you. You do not have to have found a magic solution - we want to hear from those who are struggling as well as those who have attained some measure of victory over this much misunderstood condition.
When you write, please indicate if I have permission to share your story with the readers of this web site - if so I'll publish it right here on this page, otherwise your story will stay just between you and me but either way I want to hear from you. Unless you specifically direct me and give permission otherwise, I will not publish your name, location, or email address.
Last updated May 10, 2003